• The Hippocampus is part of our brain that regulates stress and enhances memory
• In times of stress, it actually shrinks so it has less ability to regulate stress so that we start forgetting stuff
In times of high stress, conflict and distress…
Explore ways to get on the same page about areas where you can
Establish as much middle ground as you can
See and acknowledge the other person’s differing point of view where you can
Know your bottom lines
Ask for help where you are struggling…someone you trust, an accountability or support group or someone who serves in a counseling role
Avoid jumping into the other person’s solution
Question: What is one area of common ground that you can have as a go-to when everything else seems to be on a different page in a different book written in a different language?
Category: Hippocampus
The Power of Fun
• The Hippocampus is part of our brain that regulates stress and enhances memory
• In times of stress, it actually shrinks so it has less ability to regulate stress so that we start forgetting stuff
• Find fun and creative distractions away from the behaviors of challenging children and other stressors…
• Sporting event?
• Art class?
• Take a walk in the neighborhood together…if you are in conflict, it often helps to get a breath of fresh air and the pressure of the neighbors hearing you might just keep you from saying the thing you can’t unsay…
• Curiosity: what is your loved one interested in that you might rock their world if you took an interest too…keep it safe and don’t turn this opportunity for connection into a place for criticism or unhealthy competition
• Remember our friend the hippocampus? Stretching, stretching…
The Power of Disconnecting
• The Hippocampus is part of our brain that regulates stress and enhances memory
• In times of stress, it actually shrinks so it has less ability to regulate stress so that we start forgetting stuff
Disconnect from Technology
• This does not mean that you can’t pop a bowl of popcorn and watch a movie that you both enjoy
• It means turn off the world that won’t let you rest or are negative coping skills that cause you to zone out instead of engaging: texts, social media, email, internet feeds, games on your phone. We don’t like to think that our media use is addictive but maybe it is…
• If you are engaging in technology, you are not engaging with your significant relationships
• Remember that Hippocampus? Shrinking….shrinking…
• It will be there when you get back…
The Power of “No”
• The Hippocampus is part of our brain that regulates stress and enhances memory
• In times of stress, it actually shrinks so it has less ability to regulate stress so that we start forgetting stuff
• Here’s some tried and true and proven by scientists ways to help our hippocampus by nurturing the most important and often overlooked relationship in our lives…
• Say No to Others so that you can say Yes to those who matter most!!
• Filter through the busy and make your relationships a priority
• You owe it to yourself, each other and your family
• Time together is a necessity, not a guilty pleasure
• Remind each other of areas where you have common ground
• Make this time something that you look forward to and see as necessary as a protection for all of the hard stuff that is out of your control
• Bottom line…time together is a healthy habit!!