Caregiver resentment is a feeling of unfairness or irritation Resentment often feels sarcastic and justice seeking Feelings of resentment can come on suddenly at the time of diagnosis or creep in over time. Resentment is often tied to a rising tide of unchecked disappointment. For the reluctant caregiver, caring for a relative more out of… Continue reading Primary Caregiver Emotions: Resentment
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Primary Caregiver Emotions: Doubt and Confusion
Doubt and confusion are irrational thoughts that are the outgrowth of fear, powerlessness, overwhelm and guilt. In order to not be sucked into the vortex of doubt and confusion, it is important for the caregiver to become clear about what capabilities they have, establish contingency plans and available resource inventories. These are the worn-down caregivers… Continue reading Primary Caregiver Emotions: Doubt and Confusion
Primary Caregiver Emotions: Guilt
Caregiver guilt is the product of thoughts that they haven’t done enough for their loved one. It can be the flip side to resentment that the caregiver has for needing to devote so much time and energy to the person who has a diagnosis, unresolved issues with that person or others in proximity or comparing… Continue reading Primary Caregiver Emotions: Guilt
Primary Caregiver Emotions: Anger
Why is this happening to me? I am angry at the diagnosis, the medical team, at the people in my community and their platitudes, the advice or lack of support from my parents or family members (brother, sister in law, the lady in the checkout line at Target, insert here) This is not fair! No… Continue reading Primary Caregiver Emotions: Anger
Primary Caregiver Emotions: Denial
Denial (Disbelief and Shock) This is not the way this is supposed to be! There must have been a mistake There is no way that I am equipped to be caregiver! I can’t feel anything. This must be a dream and I need to wake up now How am I supposed to get everything… Continue reading Primary Caregiver Emotions: Denial
Primary Caregiver Emotions: Fear of the Present, Past and Future
Fear is generally the first shockwave right after receiving the devastating news. Fear is often tied to: a lack of education, resources, support, the caregivers own internal story around personal limitations, past and current circumstances, racing thoughts that cause them to forecast catastrophe. As fear implodes into either denial or worry, it can result in… Continue reading Primary Caregiver Emotions: Fear of the Present, Past and Future
Putting It All Together: Celebrating Success and Anticipating New Journeys
Benefits to using skilled conversation strategies when communicating with caregiving stakeholders: · Reduce stress. · Make difficult decisions. · Communicate more effectively during challenging situations. · Prevent burnout and resentments Overview of what we learned: · When one or more people are very invested, emotions are running high, and the… Continue reading Putting It All Together: Celebrating Success and Anticipating New Journeys
Building Our Skills: Moving Ahead from Stuck to Action
Now that all information has been presented and all participants have a safe forum, it is time to move forward from dialogue to actionable decisions Points to consider: · Is the final decision to be made collaboratively or is there a person who has the sole authority to make the final… Continue reading Building Our Skills: Moving Ahead from Stuck to Action
Telling our Story: What We Need & How We Feel About It
The stories we tell ourselves and others are powerful and can either hijack a conversation and bring it depth and meaning Stories are based on emotions rather than logic All of the upheaval of this year have sent families to unprecedented levels of what is called emotional contagion. What’s that? It’s when we are interacting… Continue reading Telling our Story: What We Need & How We Feel About It
Building Our Skills: Finding Mutual Purpose When Conversation is Stuck in Differing Needs and Goals
Self monitor to avoid silence and violence: Be aware of how you respond under stress: · Silence-withdrawing from conversation · Silence- deliberately withholding crucial information · Silence- avoiding stressful situations entirely · Silence-deflecting topic with humor or sarcasm… Continue reading Building Our Skills: Finding Mutual Purpose When Conversation is Stuck in Differing Needs and Goals